


smoke and mirrors and stars

by grains_of_saturn



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: F/F, FFXV Femslash Week, contains some fabula nova crystallis lore, didn't write out kimya's yodaspeak, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 21:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14434368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grains_of_saturn/pseuds/grains_of_saturn
Summary: To Kimya, Stella has always been as real as anything.





	smoke and mirrors and stars

**Author's Note:**

> Written for https://ffxvfemslashweek.tumblr.com for the April 25th 2018 challenge pair suggestion, Kimya/Stella.

The setting sun would cast long shadows across the land as the children ran back home, as all good children were instructed to do. They would return to the warmth of the household, the tantalizing scents of supper being prepared, and the comforting embrace given by Mother on having returned home. _Darkness brings daemons,_ they said. _Be home before nightfall._

" _And what did you do today?_ "

Mother would ask that question each time, as Ezma and Kimya scrambled to their normal places at the dinnertable. It might have seemed as if there were little to report, but Mother would always listen with rapt attention and smile at their stories, reacting as if it was the first time that she'd ever heard such things. It could be that a nearby tree had started to show signs of fruit - how long would it be before that fruit could be plucked and gathered and crafted into something delicious? A long time for young children, but the anticipation was half the fun. They were told never to get too close to the herds of garula that would roam across the lands - but so long as they had a safe vantage point, they were still fascinating to watch, in their own way. Sometimes it could even be that they would see a chocobo, or find its eggs - they promised never to disturb such things, but would always wait in the hope of seeing a chocobo chick, small and fluffy and shy, and so rare to see. Every tale would be told with breathless excitement, and Mother would smile at it all.

"... _and Stella was there, too--..._ "

This would be recounted with as much excitement as anything else, but the simple mention of that one name would always cause a clear change of demeanor on Ezma's face. That name would earn Kimya a sharp jab from Ezma's elbow, paired with an open scowl. Mother didn't understand; she would only act as she ever did, " _Is that one of your friends?_ "

Kimya didn't understand why Ezma would always react that way. Whether it was to Mother or to anybody else, Ezma seemed to object to any mention of _that one name_. There were a number of children who lived nearby, and others a little further afield - were Kimya to be asked when she had met any of them, she wasn't sure that she'd be able to remember. They'd met, somehow, and continued to play together - the way that children did. Sometimes a friend would introduce a sibling, or cousin, or some other distant acquaintance, and all would be welcomed. Kimya didn't remember when she'd first me Stella, but that was hardly unusual. Like the others around them, she just slotted neatly into the haphazard recollections of childhood memory.

Stella kept herself to herself, though. The one thing that Kimya was sure of was that she'd never seen Stella with any of their other friends - it had only been on breaking away from Ezma that she had ever found Stella, sat there as if she'd been waiting only for that precise moment. She seemed older than a lot of the other children they knew, but Kimya wasn't sure if that was because she _was_ older or if she just appeared that way; she didn't run around and climb trees and swim in the river, but they could talk for hours about one thing or another. She seemed fascinated by Kimya, and always wanted to know more about her life, and how it was lived. Kimya, too, was curious about Stella - her clothes, her manner, just the way she held herself seemed so different to anything else that Kimya knew. Stella would just smile and say that that was because she came from the city; that, in itself, was a fascinating statement. From the _city_! It was on the other side of Lucis, but to Kimya's mind, it might as well have been half the world away.

Many times, Kimya would try to bring Ezma to where Stella was, but things never seemed to work out that way. Kimya would express her frustration - as would Ezma.

" _I have no interest in meeting with figments of your imagination...!_ "

This was always Ezma's argument, and Kimya couldn't understand it, or where it originated from. Just because they had never met didn't mean that Stella was some 'figment' - she was as real as any of their other friends, and Ezma had never made that argument towards _them_ , so why--? From such arguments, Kimya became all the more determined to introduce the two of them, but found herself continually unable. Meeting Stella was not predictable at the best of times, and on being accompanied by Ezma always seemed to be when she would be absent. Regardless, Kimya would lead Ezma across the fields and to the river, through the forest and to the plains, all in the hopes of meeting with Stella. That meeting, however, never materialized.

 

\----

 

"... _and I believe there to be a malevolent spirit - Kimya talks of it so often, and I don't know what to do--..._ "

Kimya overheard Ezma speaking to Mother, once. She knew better than to interrupt their conversation, and moreover, was curious as to its contents - it had been that they would share everything with one another, but as time progressed, Ezma seemed to become far more secretive. Those words came as a surprise to Kimya; she felt as attuned to the world as Ezma did, and yet, no encounter with darkness sprung to mind. _Is Ezma telling tales? Why would she say something like that?_

" _\--... she talks of this girl, 'Stella'... Mother, there's no-one like that! I have not seen her, but I've felt her presence. I don't believe her to be of this world, and yet, Kimya continues to be drawn in...!_ "

Mother told Ezma only to be vigilant, and to take action if necessary. Kimya slept facing the bedroom wall that night, unable to turn her feelings into words. She felt angry and confused, and had no outlet for those feelings. Anything else, she would have gone straight to Ezma - but in this case, Ezma was the one person she _couldn't_ go to.

"Are you... evil?"

The only answer Kimya had thought of was to go to Stella directly. Several days passed before they next met, but she was _there_ , and Kimya did her best to attune herself to the atmosphere as they spoke; Stella seemed real, seemed as friendly as she ever was, and didn't seem malevolent in the slightest. What concerned her the most was Ezma's words, that she'd 'felt her presence' - Kimya felt nothing, and knew it possible that Ezma was reporting a falsehood, but also supposed that should a spirit be presenting itself to her, the first thing it would do would be to shroud its presence. She didn't know if daemons could do that, but also knew that they could be capable of anything if they so desired.

On that question, however, Stella had only laughed. "Why do you ask?"

"I think... my sister refuses to meet with you. She dislikes you. She thinks of you as a figment of my imagination, as a malevolent spirit - I don't know why she would say such things...! She's never behaved like this before. Either it is that she is lying, or... that there is something that she senses, that I do not." Kimya had barely been able to meet Stella's line of sight as she'd spoken, wishing harder than anything that Ezma was _wrong_ , just _wrong_. She looked to Stella, then, and saw only a sad smile. "My sister... is mistaken, is she not?"

"I should certainly hope that I am not evil...! I can say that much. However..." Stella had reached to touch Kimya's cheek, then. "You see me. Your sister senses me. It could be that no others of this world would ever know me here, and yet, here, I have found someone to talk to. I treasure that."

"What--... what do you mean...?"

"I think your sister may be overreacting. 'Malevolent'... I would hope not. I would hope not! A 'figment'... perhaps. And yet, a harmless one - I would hope."

"I'm--... imagining you...?"

"It might be more accurate to say the opposite. I dream of a world - and in it, I am able to speak to you."

"... I don't understand."

"You don't need to. Please, let us remain as friends - despite the misgivings of your sister, I can promise that I mean you no harm. I believe that there is very little in this world that I would be able to affect, in truth. And yet, we are able to talk with one another - that is a glorious thing, Kimya...! Just, tell me of your life, and your friends, and your sister, and I shall listen, as I always have done. That is all I ask for."

Kimya went home that night, feeling even further from being able to arrange her thoughts and feelings. She still couldn't find it in herself to think of Stella as _malevolent_ or _evil_ , but to have had it confirmed that, whatever she was, she was _not of this world_ \- what did _that_ mean? She didn't understand Stella's words, and couldn't bring herself to ask Ezma, or Mother. And so she slept, feeling only further confusion.

 

\-----

 

Time passed, and the sisters grew. Childhood experiences were relegated to memory, and those friends that they'd seen so often, back then, would find themselves in different situations - differing opinions would split them, wayward teenage feelings would strike between them, family situations and the growing threat of Niflheim, across the ocean, would drive neighbors to the far reaches of the continent (or beyond). Life continued on, and thoughts of that girl Kimya had known were, also, set aside. Had Ezma done something? Had Mother done something? Her appearances had diminished, until she didn't visit at all - and yet, Kimya was not even sure of the last time they had spoken. There had been no announcement, no declaration, just... a time when she had been there, and now, somehow, a time in which she was not. Kimya still refused to raise the issue with Ezma; she was still unsure as to Stella's origin, but she remembered the _look_ on Ezma's face, so many years ago, as if it were yesterday.

When Kimya saw Stella again, she thought for sure that she must be dreaming. She was an adult, now - still young, but an adult - and yet Stella seemed much the same as she had, all those years ago. Even at the time, it had been hard to discern Stella's age (for as little as Kimya had cared for it back then), but Kimya thought that, if nothing else, there should have been _some_ change between that time then, and that time _now_.

"Is it my eyes that are playing tricks, or simply my memory?"

A smile. "I couldn't say."

"... It has been quite some time, Stella. Time enough that I am grown, and yet you seem the same..."

"Would you expect me to have grown?"

"... I'm not sure I know enough of you to say."

"I understand."

Stella was as attentive as she'd been during childhood, and it was easy for Kimya to drop her guard around her; she still remembered those words, _malevolent_ , _evil_... she remembered the children that had teased her for seeing things, and those who had ostracized her for similar things as she'd grown. It had always felt unfair, and to see Stella here like this, it still felt so; she was undoubtedly mysterious, but still _present_. Kimya still didn't know what exactly Stella was, but knew only that she was there, and that they could communicate. It didn't feel like a dream, or like an illusion. Stella's smile seemed as real as anything. Kimya kept waiting for any sign of something untoward, but it never came; they would spend time together, talking of whatever came up in conversation, and it seemed much the same as if any other friend had come to visit. Were it not for Ezma's reaction, all that time ago - and Stella's neverchanging nature - Kimya wondered if she would ever have noticed anything strange about her at all.

As always, Stella was content to listen of whatever Kimya was able to tell her - the state of the world, the state of her life, the small, everyday domestic things. It was somewhat unusual for Stella to start any line of conversation herself, but on one occasion, she had a troubled look before finally speaking her mind.

"... Do you know the Nox Fleuret family?"

"I know _of_ them. I've heard of them. I expect most people have, but... to know them, personally?" Kimya laughed. "I don't know how important you think I am. Not that important, surely."

"You do yourself a disservice, Kimya. Regardless - what could you tell me of them?"

"Well... they're the ruling family of Tenebrae, which lies across the ocean. The territory lies under control of Niflheim, but I believe there to be some space of land which still sits under their rule. The blood of that family is what gives power to the Oracle - granted power by the Gods, she can work magic... or so I'm told. I've not seen it for myself. There is a certain sickness that befalls the land... those afflicted by it may visit the Oracle, and see themselves cured. Such is the power of the Gods."

"I see. I suppose it would do you little good to know that I, also, carry the name of that family. That is to say, I am named Stella Nox Fleuret - for whatever good that may do."

Kimya stared at her in that moment, long and hard. To do so gave her no additional information, however; what little she knew of the Nox Fleuret family, she had already told to Stella. There was only so much one could know of them, having never stepped foot from Lucis - that name brought respect and reverence, but Kimya had never had reason to travel to Tenebrae (and hoped that she never would). The one thing that perhaps made sense was Stella's connection to _that_ family - well-known for their connections to the Gods, it almost made sense that Stella could be something to do with that... _maybe_. Kimya knew of the Six, and their twenty-four messengers; had Stella been sent by the Gods? She had never spoken of such things, but that meant little.

"That is, indeed, a grand family to be connected to. I was unaware that I was in the presence of royalty...!"

"Oh, I--... I wouldn't say that much! I only hold that name, I know little of its connotations within your world. To hear of Gods and Oracles... I'll admit, I find those things interesting."

"' _Those things'..._? Is it not the same for you...?"

"I could tell you of the Goddess, and the powers that She would bestow on those who had endured enough to obtain them... I would think that such things would only be as stories to you, though."

"I would still be interested...! Besides, is that not the same as my talking of the Six to you? Our world has been shaped so definitely by their presence and their power, that to think of a world without them is strange indeed - or, to be specific, for me to be talking to someone from a world without them. It could be that there are many worlds out there, but I would always have assumed them far, far beyond my reach. And yet you have spoken to me since I was a child, as if we had grown together. Could that be the power of the Nox Fleuret line? Of the Six, or--... perhaps of your Goddess?"

"I wonder. If neither of us can say for sure, then who is there out there that could? Perhaps it is to remain a mystery. Perhaps we are not to know."

Kimya set time aside for research, after that. To find out what she could of the Nox Fleuret line, and the powers that they held. She was, however, able to find out little beyond what it was that she already knew. Tenebrae was not a place often visited by those from the Lucian mainland, but Kimya wondered, sometimes, if she should go. _But what would I do once I got there?_ It would be possible to request time with the Oracle, but her duties were so many and so heavy that it seemed frivolous to take such pains only to ask her of a person she had no guarantee of knowing. It was a fanciful thought, but it was one that stuck at the back of Kimya's mind, all the same.

 

\-----

 

"My world was overtaken by darkness," Stella said. Kimya was unsure as to what that meant, and it seemed that Stella wouldn't elaborate.

It was easy to relate such a statement to the prophecy of the world, of the Darkness and the True King that would bring the Light - but again, these seemed to be things that Stella was unaware of. She could only speak of her world in vague terms - she was of the Nox Fleuret family, there was a Tenebrae of her world, there was a Goddess - and in no way that seemed to match up to what Kimya knew of her day-to-day life.

Kimya knew that she could spend time away from Stella; Stella didn't always appear. Time would pass - weeks, sometimes even months - and yet, life would go on. The longer the time that passed, however, Kimya would wonder if that was the same for Stella herself. Stella, a girl who seemed locked in age, who spoke vaguely of her world, and knew little of _this_ world. She knew the Nox Fleuret line by name, but little of its implication. Still, every once in a while, Kimya's thoughts would fall to Ezma's words; there seemed little about Stella's presence that seemed as if it were to bewitch or to sway, but who could tell what the thought process of a daemon was? And yet, it had been _years_. Kimya could understand the concept of a daemon stealing away a child, or luring away an adolescent - it wasn't that no adult had ever been attacked by a daemon, but the circumstances seemed entirely different. Kimya knew what it felt like to sense daemons, but that wasn't what she felt when she was with Stella. (Often, with Stella, she wasn't sure _what_ it was that she felt.)

It seemed strange that Stella would appear, speaking of the Nox Fleuret line, and yet have done so at a place that was about as far from Tenebrae as it was possible to be. Kimya's life went on outside of Stella, but there was no evidence that the opposite was also true; it didn't seem possible for Stella to appear, somehow, for the Oracle, or to materialize within Tenebrae, or... anything along those lines. It seemed, simply, that Stella would appear for Kimya, if and when she could. Why that was, they didn't know. What the limitations of that were, they couldn't say. So unique that there was little for Kimya to research, and so strange that there were few people she could bring herself to ask. There seemed to be little way to try to explain Stella's continued presence in her life, right from childhood and onward, without it seeming _strange_. Enough people cast concern towards the Auburnbrie family and their _weird ways_ that Kimya was reluctant to do or ask anything that might bring more suspicion towards her, and her family.

"Are you a ghost? Or a spirit, perhaps?" (Kimya had asked that question more than once, and never received a satisfactory reply. Despite herself, she kept asking.)

"I wonder. What is it that makes up a ghost? Or a spirit?"

"I suppose... to call from a place beyond this world."

"Then, perhaps I _am_ a spirit."

"Commonly, it would be a spark belonging to someone who has since passed. That is to say... that you were dead, perhaps."

"It might be more accurate to say that I never lived in the first place."

"What does that mean?"

"I wonder."

She would speak those cryptic words with such certainty, and then fall back on ever being pinned down on them. Kimya was never sure if that meant that Stella refused to elaborate, or if it was simply that she didn't know. _Perhaps she enjoys the mystery._

Stella would act further in ways that made Kimya think that perhaps she _had_ been sent in order to bewitch, somehow. Even the way she looked at Kimya left her feeling as if she couldn't be sure of anything; Stella would stroke her cheek, or touch her arm, and such small things felt a magnitude larger than they ever really were. Sometimes, Stella would vanish without a trace, and be gone for weeks on end; sometimes, she would lie in Kimya's arms, as if the concept of her just _disappearing_ was ridiculous in itself.

"If I were a ghost, I feel... that this should be impossible."

"How do you mean?"

Stella shifted in Kimya's arms, pressing her head to Kimya's shoulder. "Are ghosts able to touch? To be held? Perhaps our understanding is limited, but these ideas remain. I would not think myself a ghost. To say 'spirit'... that seems too grand. I only know that we come from different worlds... and that, for now, I am here. With you."

Kimya long wondered the significance of that, but could come to no solid answer. _If you are of the Nox Fleurets, you should have appeared for the Oracle. You should be known to them. There is no reason why you would be here, by my side._ She still felt conflicted on the thought of telling anybody - perhaps the Oracle would welcome such knowledge, or perhaps there, too, she would be turned away for her 'strange ideas'. _And Tenebrae is so far away..._

Ezma married, that union eventually bearing a child. Kimya would be asked of such things, but they held little appeal to her. To marry and bear children seemed to be the normal way of adulthood, but she would think of _love_ and it was only ever Stella that came to her mind. How could she explain that to anybody? She wasn't sure that she had the strength even to try.

"It could be that I might ever only see you," Stella would say. "You might be the only person in this land able to see me. ...Is that a bad thing?"

When they were alone together, Kimya could think of no reason why it would be.

 

\-----

 

Some would speak of the _Witch of the Woods_ , and speak of Malmalam Thicket with the same hushed air of mystery. No Hunters were allowed in the vicinity, and few would wish to go there; as it was, Kimya lived her life largely undisturbed.

She was old, now; she couldn't deny that. She was old, and it was like Stella had not aged a day - _as well she might_ _not have done_ , Kimya would think to herself. She had gained few answers as to Stella's origin or appearance over the years, but it felt as if that barely mattered, now. Those who thought that she lived alone might have pitied her, but they didn't need to know the truth of the matter. Few dared venture close enough to even ask their questions, let alone answer them. Perhaps it was best for some to be left unsaid. Not everything needed an answer, after all.

It was rare for Kimya to receive visitors, and so Stella seemed intrigued; Kimya could understand that, but yet found herself surprised by Stella's response.

"That man... is familiar to me."

"Which one do you mean...?"

"The one that spoke to you. Who bought your potions." Stella laughed gently. "Who bought them without question, without even a mention of your sign. Perhaps they were not Hunters? After all, it takes one of strong character to defy _your_ word."

"Indeed it does, doesn't it?... As for that boy? The Lucis Caelum son. As it happens... the True King, who will bring to us the Light."

"The Light... I see."

"He didn't seem to see you, though, did he?"

"There's little reason why he would. Like I told you - my world is dark, now. What need would I have for a King of Light?"

"I could also wonder what need you have to stay here, with only an old woman for company..."

"Why should I leave?... Would you wish me to?"

The royal group had long since vanished into the undergrowth - perhaps towards the heart of the Thicket. Kimya knew of what lay there and why it might be that they would bother, but also of the monsters that sat within. She knew it, too, little of her business; if the True King felt like challenging monsters in the back-end of nowhere, that was his own decision. The Hunters had been able to do little against those terrors - _but perhaps he might._

"He might know the way to Tenebrae. I hear him to be engaged to the Nox Fleuret daughter, in fact. ...I thought only that that might interest you."

Stella's expression seemed somewhat wistful, just for a moment, but she shook her head and turned her back to the woods. "It may have done, once. That time was long ago, though - so long ago, I barely remember it. It isn't of importance. Not anymore."

Kimya sighed, leaning back against her chair. "... Should I have gone to Tenebrae?"

"What do you mean?"

"I wondered, many times, if I should have gone there. Sought the Oracle. Asked about you - if they knew you, if you knew them, if you wished to speak with them. The previous Oracle, the young Oracle of the present, her elder brother... I could think of nobody else who might listen to me - you saw for yourself, the manner in which my sister reacted. Despite the many years has it been even since that..."

"And what would I have asked for, in your Tenebrae?"

"I couldn't say. Some manner of audience, perhaps. A connection, with those whose blood you may share. Something along those lines."

"I do not think that they would welcome such a thing. From what you have told me... I don't believe this land's Tenebrae to be that which I once knew." Stella gave a small, sad laugh. "But what _would_ I know? Even I barely remember it, these days."

"And so you would stay here? I can only respect your decision, of course, but--... sometimes, I wonder just how long I might be for this world..."

Kimya trailed off, her implication clear. She'd broached the subject with similar words in the past - more frequently, of late - but as usual and as always, Stella had turned those words around and deflected them.

"Should that matter? Perhaps, at that time, I would mourn you. Perhaps, at that time, I would lose all connection to this world. Perhaps, at that time, it could be that I would also cease to exist - but there is no way for us to know what the outcome should be." She hesitated, walking around to lean her elbows against the back of the chair, her arms loosely around Kimya's shoulders. "Those who fulfill the will of the Goddess are granted their rest. I know not if the will of the Goddess reaches here, but... it is a pleasant thing to think."

"I should like for your belief to be rewarded. I only wish I could do more to aid you..."

"I don't need anything like that. Only let me stay, and to talk with you, as we always have done. That is all that I wish for."

They could have talked of Crystals, of the Goddess and of Chaos and of all of those things, but they were a subject to which Stella was Kimya's only reference, and even then, she would give each statement with a little more uncertainty each time. The topic had been covered at length, and it felt largely needless, now. Would Stella's Goddess hear her? They didn't know. Would the True King hear his calling, and bring the world to peace? That, also, was a matter far beyond their sphere of influence. And so, such things could be ignored, in a way - or at least, pushed to one side. For all of the lofty thoughts of Kings and Goddesses, it was simply another night in the Thicket - calm and temperate, with the threat of creatures or daemons kept aside, as they always had been, by Kimya's wealth of knowledge. Perhaps it would be that the royal retinue would return, their mission accomplished. Perhaps they would leave the area without another word; that, too, was acceptable. Regardless, Kimya would rest outside until nightfall, at which point she'd retreat inside - Stella following, as always.


End file.
